Thursday, 20 November 2014

Osama vs Kennedy



After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. 

Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. None could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. 

Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."




Sau nhiều lần "Chúng ta không biết liệu Osama vẫn còn sống hay không", thì Osama đã quyết định tự gửi cho Ted Kennedy một bức thư do chính tay mình viết để báo cho ông ta biết là cuộc chơi vẫn chưa kết thúc. 
Kennedy mở bức thư và nhìn thấy một dòng thông điệp mã hóa duy nhất, 370HSSV-0773H. 

Kennedy cảm thấy rối rắm, vì thế ông e-mail nó cho John Kerry. Kerry và các trợ lý của ông cũng chẳng có đầu mối nào, vì vậy họ đã gửi cho FBI. Cũng không ai tại FBI có thể giải mã cả, vì vậy nó đã được gửi đến CIA, và sau đó là đến NSA. Chẳng có đầu mối nào về nghĩa của nó, FBI cuối cùng đành phải hỏi Marine Corps Intelligence để được giúp đỡ. 

Trong vòng một vài giây Marine Corps đã đánh điện tín trở lại với câu trả lời như sau: "Hãy nói với Kennedy là ông ta đang cầm ngược tin nhắn."


Punctuation is powerful

An English professor wrote the words “A woman without her man is nothing” on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All the females in the class wrote: “ A woman, without her, man is nothing.” 





Monday, 10 November 2014

Try to read it





If you can read this, you have a strange mind too.
Can you read this? Only 55 people out of 100 can...
I couldn't believe that I could actually understand what I was reading. The phenomenal power of the human mind, according to a researcher at Cambridge University, it doesn't matter in what order the letters in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last letter be in the right place. The rest can be a total mess and you can still read it without a problem. This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but the word as a whole. Amazing huh? Yeah and I always thought sleeping was important! If you can read this, forward it!




Thursday, 6 November 2014

"I hung him up to dry"


After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office and said, "Kevin, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm sorry to tell you that the man you saved later hung himself." "He didn't hang himself," Kevin replied, "I hung him up to dry."

Sau khi nghe tin một trong những bệnh nhân tại một bệnh viện tâm thần đã cứu sống một bệnh nhân khác đang cố gắng tự tử bằng cách kéo anh ta ra khỏi bồn tắm, giám đốc bệnh viện đã xem xét hồ sơ của người giải cứu và gọi anh ta vào văn phòng của mình và nói: "Kevin, hồ sơ của cậu và hành động anh hùng của cậu cho thấy cậu đã sẵn sàng để về nhà. Nhưng tôi vẫn rất tiếc phải báo cho cậu biết rằng người đàn ông mà cậu cứu sau đó lại tự treo cổ." "Anh ta không tự treo cổ," Kevin trả lời, "Tôi đã treo anh ta lên cho khô."





Tuesday, 4 November 2014

You scared the daylights out of me!


A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, goes up on the footpath, and stops centimeters from a shop window. For a second, everything goes quiet in the cab, then the driver says, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologizes and says, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replies, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Một hành khách taxi vỗ vai tài xế để hỏi ông một câu hỏi. Người tài xế hét lên, chiếc xe bị mất kiểm soát, gần như tông vào một chiếc xe buýt, rồi lao lên vỉa hè, và dừng lại chỉ cách cửa sổ một cửa hàng vài cm. Sau một lúc, mọi thứ trở nên yên tĩnh trong xe taxi, sau đó người lái xe nói: "Xem này anh bạn, đừng bao giờ làm như vậy một lần nữa. Anh làm tôi sợ phát khiếp!" Người hành khách xin lỗi và nói: "Tôi đã không biết rằng chỉ vỗ nhẹ cùng khiến anh sợ đến thế." Người tài xế trả lời: "Xin lỗi, đây không thực sự là lỗi của anh. Hôm nay là ngày đầu tiên tôi làm tài xế taxi. Tôi đã lái xe tang suốt 25 năm qua."



Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Meet Menswear Dog, the world’s most stylish Shiba Inu【Photos】

Bodhi is a five-year-old Shiba who lives in New York City. He’s also a talented model and one of the best-dressed dogs on the planet, so it’s no wonder he’s already racked up150,000 followers on Instagram.
Owners Yena Kim, a former designer at Ralph Lauren, and her boyfriend David Fung started dressing Bodhi up for fun last year, posting the pictures to Facebook as a joke. Now Menswear Dog is so doggone lucrative, they’ve both been able to quit their full-time jobs to work with him.

Bodhi – named for Patrick Swayze’s character in Point Break – now nets them up to$15,000 a month through sponsorship deals and guest appearances.



▼ Here he is modelling for Victorinox.


Kim and Fung bought Bodhi five years ago when they were both “broke designers” living in Harlem, they told Fast Company. Last April, they were both able to quit their full-time jobs, with Menswear Dog bringing in between $15,000 in “a good month” – and $10,000 in a bad one.

▼ The young professional.







▼ Luckily, Bodhi and owner David Fung have the same neck size.





▼ He might be even cuter than our other favourite Shiba Inu!



▼ Bodhi’s style’s a little different though.





▼ That neckline! That gaze! Those doggy chews!





▼ Keeping it casual with another well-dressed friend.



▼ Yep. This is definitely the world’s coolest dog.



▼ Don’t know about you, but we just died of jealousy a little bit. You’ll have to excuse us while we have a little lie down.



Such dapper. Many menswear. Such cute. Menswear Dog Instagram. Source: Fast Company.



Monday, 27 October 2014

Indian Hell

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" 


He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hell - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."

Địa ngục Ấn Độ


Một người Ấn Độ chết và đi vào địa ngục. Ở đó, ông phát hiện ra rằng mỗi nước có một địa ngục khác nhau.

Ông đi vào địa ngục của Đức và hỏi: "Họ làm gì ở đây?"

Ông ta được trả lời là: "Đầu tiên họ sẽ đưa ông vào ngồi ghế điện trong một giờ. Kế đó, họ đặt ông trên chiếc giường đinh thêm một giờ nữa. Sau đó, con quỷ người Đức sẽ dùng roi đánh ông cho đến hết ngày."

Người đàn ông không thích nghe những chuyện này một chút nào, vì vậy ông tiếp tục đi.

Ông hỏi thăm địa ngục của Hoa Kỳ cũng như địa ngục của Nga và nhiều chỗ khác nữa. Ông phát hiện ra rằng tất cả mọi nơi đều ít nhiều giống như địa ngục Đức.

Sau đó, ông đi đến địa ngục Ấn Độ và thấy người ta xếp hàng dài chờ để được vào trong. Ngạc nhiên, ông hỏi: "Họ làm gì ở đây?"

Ông ta được trả lời là: "Đầu tiên họ sẽ đưa ông vào ngồi ghế điện trong một giờ. Kế đó, họ đặt ông trên chiếc giường đinh thêm một giờ nữa. Sau đó, con quỷ người Ấn Độ sẽ dùng roi đánh ông cho đến hết ngày."

"Nhưng đó hoàn toàn giống tất cả các địa ngục khác - tại sao có rất nhiều người chờ đợi để được vào?"

"Bởi vì việc bảo trì tệ đến nỗi ghế điện không hoạt động, ai đó đã đánh cắp tất cả đinh trên giường, và con quỷ chính là một cựu công chức chính phủ, vì vậy nó chỉ vào, đánh dấu đăng ký và sau đó đi đến căn tin ... "



Friday, 24 October 2014

Better than saying “I love you”

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So was the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"



Còn hơn cả nói "Anh yêu em"

Marty thức dậy tại nhà với một cảm giác cực kỳ khó chịu. Anh buộc mình phải mở mắt, điều đầu tiên anh nhìn thấy là một vài viên aspirin và một ly nước đặt trên bàn bên cạnh. Anh ngồi dậy và nhìn thấy quần áo đã được đặt trước mặt, tất cả đều sạch sẽ và đã ủi thẳng. Marty nhìn quanh phòng và nhận ra rằng căn phòng được dọn dẹp hoàn hảo, không tì vết, rất sạch sẽ. Và phần còn lại của căn nhà cũng vậy. Anh uống những viên aspirin và nhìn thấy một ghi chú trên bàn "Anh yêu, bữa sáng ở trong bếp, em phải đi shopping sớm. Yêu anh ". 

Sau đó, anh đi vào nhà bếp và rõ ràng là đã có một bữa sáng nóng hổi và một tờ báo buổi sáng. Con trai cũng đang ngồi ăn ở bàn. 

Marty hỏi: "Con trai, đêm qua đã xảy ra chuyện gì thế?" 

Con trai trả lời: "Vâng, bố trở về nhà sau 3 giờ sáng, say rượu và nói lảm nhảm. Bố làm hỏng một số đồ đạc, nôn trong hành lang, và mắt bố bi bầm đen khi vấp vào cửa." 

Bối rối, Marty hỏi: " Thế, tại sao tất cả mọi thứ lại rất gọn gàng và sạch sẽ, bữa sáng cũng có sẵn cho bố?" 

Con trai trả lời: "Ồ! Mẹ kéo bố vào phòng ngủ, và cố gắng thay quần cho bố, bố bảo ‘Này cô, đừng động vào tôi, tôi đã có vợ rồi!’"



Sunday, 19 October 2014

15 Ideas to Help You Live a Better Life

15 Ideas to Help You Live a Better Life

posted by Alex Blackwell
“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.” – James Allen
Living your life to the fullest takes time and dedication. Putting in the effort will take a little bit of self-discipline, but the rewards you will gain will be well worth it. Live your best life every day with these helpful tips.
1. Seek answers. Curious about something? Find out the answer. Enrich your life with knowledge and never be satisfied with what you know. Never think that you’re done learning or that you know everything that you possibly can.
2. Create something of your own. It can be inspiring to quote someone else’s words, or to be pumped up by someone else’s success story. But this is your life. What is your story? What do you have to share that’s yours?
3. Realize that easy isn’t always “right”. The easiest choice you face might not be the most obvious one. Sometimes, the harder route may be the most rewarding. And it may be the best one.
4. Love deeply, every day. Give your whole heart; love like you’ve never been hurt. Every day make it a point to show your love and compassion for those in your life. It will transform you.
5. Choose to be gracious, not greedy. You have to work to have an attitude of gratitude every day. Instead of thinking about how you can get more and keep more, think about how you can give more, too. Love, time, money–whatever you can give.
6. Don’t be afraid of failure. It’s inevitable. Not everything you do will succeed or take off, especially on the first try. It’s important to analyze your misses for why they did not succeed though–and how you can improve from there.
7. Take time to be introspective. In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to get distracted and lost in your own head. But it’s important to stop and listen to your heart, put things into perspective, and look inward.
8. Get moving; feed your mind. Keeping active isn’t just a way to get fit or lose weight. It’s great for the heart, body, soul, and mind. Endorphins make you feel good physically, while getting active can free you of emotional and mental clutter.
9. Shake up your routine. When things get mundane, take a look at what you can do differently. What needs to be changed? Why isn’t the current routine working? Live a better life just by altering your schedule.
10. Give your heart to others generously. Of all the things you could give to someone, your open, loving heart is the best. An understanding ear and a compassionate heart go a long way.
11. Let things amaze you. There’s beauty even in simplicity. Especially in simplicity. Don’t let cynicism or monotony spoil life for you. Enjoy things that are beautiful and awe-inspiring.
12. Be spontaneous. You can’t structure every moment of every day, no matter how hard you try. Schedules can be great for keeping deadlines, but spontaneity breeds creativity and inspiration.
13. Invest in a network of friends. We weren’t meant to walk this earth alone. Friendships and relationships outside our homes are important to our development, growth and sanity. Reach out to new people and strengthen the bonds you have with current friends.
14. Be vulnerable. Let down your guard. Being honest with yourself and others about your faults and insecurities can help you overcome them.
15. Knock down the walls in your mind. Mental roadblocks are often what really stop us, not physical or financial ones. But all it takes is an act of willpower sometimes to breakthrough to the next step. So how much do you want it?


From: www.beliefnet.com

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

I'm just kidding!

Wife: "How would you describe me?" 

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 


Wife: "What does that mean?" 

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, 
fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 


Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 


Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Monday, 13 October 2014

WHY VIETNAM? 10 REASONS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW

WHY VIETNAM? 10 REASONS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW


Most travellers place Vietnam in a comparison chart as they decide where to go next: will Thailand, Laos, Hongkong or Vietnam be worth my precious vacation? Will my kids have fun in that place? Will I encounter any problems as a single woman traveler? VietnamOnline will tell you the top 10 reasons why Vietnam should be on the agenda for your upcoming trip.
WHY VIETNAM #1: Breathtaking landscape: 

There are no matches to Niagara Falls, Sydney Opera House or the Grand Canyons. However, Vietnam is a truly hidden gem that only those visiting the country themselves will be able to tell. To put it correctly, Vietnam is not short of World Heritage SiteHalong Bay, Phong Nha Ke Bang caves, Hoi An Ancient Street and Cham Islands are all recognized for their intense beauty. However, it is the bits and bites of the non-heritage site that will surprise you further. Da Lat, for example, is too picturesque to miss. French style villas sitting next to a pine forest, bordered by strawberry garden- you feel like Europe but the market scenes speak otherwise. Keo pagoda in Thai Binh province also exemplifies well the no-name beauty of Vietnam: feel the serenity of a religious place, situated amidst greeneries of paddy farms. Whether a must-see site or an off-the-beaten-path attraction, you will not be disappointed.
Best of Vietnam - Halong Bay
WHY VIETNAM #2: Friendly and hospitable Vietnamese: 

Like many other neighbor countries in Southeast Asia, Vietnam has a precious treasure: its people. Everywhere you go, you will be welcomed by smiles and kind helps from the locals- whether they know Vietnamese or not. People from Hue, for example, are famous all over the country for their royal-like attitude: elegant and sweet. Those from Hoi An, on the other hand, are known for being honest. If you have time to spend in the Mekong delta of Vietnam, you will even be more surprised and inspired by the way you are received by local farmers. Get impressed!
Best of Vietnam - Vietnamese people

WHY VIETNAM #3: Affordability 

Vietnam is a well-known destination among budget travellers. Though the price is climbing monthly at a daunting rate, it is still much cheaper than travelling in other continents. There is almost every price for every wallet: a 5 star resort in Da Nang will cost you an equivalent amount to a 3 star hotel near JFK airport. For lower end market, there are a plenty of hostels and guest-houses in most cities. Food costs even lower and street foods are among the best in the world. That says, even in biggest metropolitan areas like Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh City, you can get by a day with $15.
Best of Vietnam - budget travel

WHY VIETNAM #4: Coffee coffee coffee

Who do not like coffee (excuse me, tea fans)? There is no Starbuck with the humongous frap and latte but there is the French drip coffee that can be found in EVERY single street of Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. Why rush in a country like Vietnam? Enjoy a cup of black coffee (ca phe den) or iced coffee with condensed milk (cap he sua da) and watch life goes by on a corner of the street- you will never forget Vietnam. For those who would like to take some coffee home, visit Café Mai (79 Le Van Huu, Hanoi) or Highland Coffee (26 Le Loi, Ho Chi Minh City).
Best of Vietnam - Iced Coffee
Watch Vietnam Online Video about Hanoi Coffee Culture

WHY VIETNAM #5: A nowhere-to-be-found travel experience
Vietnam has all the off-the-beaten-path experience that you are all looking for. From staying with an ethnic family in the Northern mountain area of Sa Pa to taking photos over the sunrise in Hoi An to sand-surfing with local kids in Mui Ne- you name them all. A unique travel experience is all about yourself- and the best part about Vietnam is that there are so much to discover after all. Read our “Best of Vietnam” page for more suggestions.
Bac Ha market

WHY VIETNAM #6. Exquisite cuisines 
Have you always been a fan of Vietnamese food? Pho Hung on Spadina- Toronto, Nam Son near Bowery- New York, Le Lotus Blanc on Bourgogne of Paris- They can never be as authentic as the food served in Vietnam (though they all do an awesome job). Vietnamese food goes beyond pho and spring rolls and varies by regions: fresh vegetables continue to dominate the tables, while meat and poultry are rising in popularity. Near the beach such as Nha Trang and Da Nang, you can find plenty of fresh seafood caught in the morning and served in your dinner at very affordable price. A big size king crab costs about $8 and can be shared between 2 people.
Best- Vietnamese Spring Rolls

WHY VIETNAM # 7. Fast and easy immigration process 
Applying for a visa to Vietnam seems stressful at first- why would you need a visa to Vietnam while you are granted free 30 day entry to Thailand and Ecuador? Vietnam requires you anyway, and to alleviate the pain, the process has been made quite easy. Besides visa at the embassy, Vietnam visas can also be granted upon arrival. All you need to do is to apply online for your approval letter via a number of online travel companies, which are plentiful on the net. The visa letter will be emailed to you after 2 days. If you leave close to the embassy, it will take only about a week.
Vietnam Visa easy
WHY VIETNAM #8. It’s a natural thing 
Think Vietnam and many still think about a war-torn country- not necessarily but that is usually the case. Vietnam is more than just its war memory: its natural resources are something worth talking about. National parks abound, and you can enjoy a variety of activities you could never enjoyed back in your country: camping and bird-watching in the tropical forest of Cuc Phuong or Cat Ba; renting a jeep and touring Cat Tien national park; wind-surfing crash course in Nha Trang. The bad news is that tourism has brought a lot of commercial activities into the nature. The good news is that there are still a lot more to see, and enjoy.
Vietnam Natural

WHY VIETNAM #9. Traditional festivals
Thanks to its long history, rich tradition and Buddhist influence, Vietnam has festivals organized all year round- many of which are unheard of in the West and really fun to learn about. Tet holiday, for example, is an ideal time to see how families celebrate their love for their ancestors and for each other. Tet should not be mistaken or called Chinese New Year, which may even be an insult to some nationalists. It resembles the Lunar New Year in many ways, but modified with a Vietnamese feel in it. For example, in the countryside, people stay over night and make chung cake- over a bit of fire and some end-of-year gossips. In Hai Phong, the buffalo fighting festival is a well-known occasion: the winning buffalo will get killed and presented to the village god. Even public holidays in Vietnam are worth joining: come to Vietnam on the 2nd of September and you will see nation-wide parades. The whole streets will be lighted by the red flags- and fireworks take over the sky at night. Check our events page to see what events you can join in your next trip.
Vietnam Fruits

WHY VIETNAM #10. World famous beaches 
What is more relaxing than spending time in the blue water under the shining sun. Let the waves of Da Nang, Nha Trang or Mui Ne relieve all the stress of the busy day-to-day life. Vietnam has several of the world’s top beach listing. Most of them are safe to swim and there are opportunities for water-sport activities as well. In Nha Trang, for example, you can do kite-running and wind surfing. In Da Nang, enjoy one of the world-class beach resorts- a romantic get away for couples and families alike. In Mui Ne, enjoy the quite with some added wildness while planning for your seafood dinner venture. For beach fans, Vietnam should really be on your list.
Vietnam beaches
From: VNO 

Friday, 10 October 2014

English Word Play

Examples of Word Play:

  • Antanaclasis
    "Your argument is sound, nothing but sound."
    (Benjamin Franklin)

  • Double Entendre
    "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
    (Mae West)

  • Malaphor
    "Senator McCain suggests that somehow, you know, I'm green behind the ears."
    (Senator Barack Obama, Oct. 2008)

  • Malapropism
    "Why not? Play captains against each other, create a little dysentery in the ranks."
    (Christopher Moltisanti in The Sopranos)

  • Paronomasia and Puns
    "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
    (Fred Allen)

    "Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends."
    (credited to Tom Waits)

    "Once you are dead you are dead. That last day idea. Knocking them all up out of their graves. Come forth, Lazarus! And he came fifth and lost the job."
    (James Joyce, Ulysses, 1922)

    "I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun
    My last thread, I shall perish on the shore;
    But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son
    Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore;
    And having done that, Thou hast done;
    I fear no more."
    (John Donne, "A Hymn to God the Father")

  • Sniglet
    pupkus, the moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

  • Syllepsis
    "When I address Fred I never have to raise either my voice or my hopes."
    (E.B. White, "Dog Training")

  • Tongue Twisters
    "Chester chooses chestnuts, cheddar cheese with chewy chives. He chews them and he chooses them. He chooses them and he chews them. . . . those chestnuts, cheddar cheese and chives in cheery, charming chunks."
    (Singing in the Rain, 1952)
(from grammar.about.com)